By The Eva Monkey on Sunday, April 18th, 2004
Agravated webmaster rant
I wanted to avoid adressing anyone in particular through the site, but I recieved a comment on my personal journal in regards to my site, and as it exists in the public domain, I will post it here, so that people will understand where I am coming from with this.
You can claim to have the “ultimate” site all you want, but you still have no real content, and until you start actively participating in Eva discussions and putting forward your own original idea out to the Eva community you are going to receive neither notoriety or respect from the long term fans who really count. Comparing yourself to Brendan Jaimeson is a joke, until you’ve proven yourself in fully-fledged analysis and discussion of the show you don’t even come close to the likes of him, or Rachel Clark, or Michael Wignall, or Patrick Yip or Olivier Hauge. So most of those guys have dropped out of the scene, but they are still remembered for their contributions to Eva fandom, hell they helped to develop a lot of the currently accepted Eva lore. Please forgive my little rant, and if all you are trying to do is benefit the Eva community then I commend you, however if you are striving for fame of some sort then I suggest you stop becuase your doing it all for the wrong reasons. Just my two cents.
–“Watanabe”
First and foremost Watanabe, I would rather you not read my journal. It is personal and not something I really want readers of the site to read. Secondly, what you were reading was written mostly out of frustration, and doesn’t accurately represent my intentions.
Eva Monkey may not be the “ultimate” site, I admit that. It is ultimate in its intention to archive and serve the community with a significant source of information. Having a term like “ultimate” associated with the title of the site is something I wanted from the beginning. Having the layout and structure take future content into account, as well as the title helps motivate me to work on the site. It makes me think “I have to flesh the site out progressively and fill it out soon so that I live up to it”. It helps motivate me to live up to the precendent I have made. Whether you think its arogant or not is something I could really care less about. And don’t think you’re the first to criticise either the title or lack of content in some areas. On the contrary, I get it quite a lot.
I don’t claim to be Brendan Jameison, I may compare myself to him, but only because of my respect for his work. When I was a new fan of the show, his site helped me learn more about Eva. His theories shaped my understanding of the show, and he is to some extent a model for me, so it is difficult not to compare myself to him sometimes. Would I like a little slice of fandom? Yes, of course, and whether you think I deserve it or not, its too late, I have it. I’ve run into readers at cons, some of whom I have talked with at length, who commend me, and send me little tidbits of stuff here and there. And the site recieves a damn impressive amount of traffic, and I couldn’t be happier. I crave praise from people for what I have done, because it helps motivate myself to continue with the project. There are times when I consider giving up, because of criticism, and for the fact that I spend a lot more time than I should on it. But the praise I recieve reaffirms my desire to continue, and I see nothing wrong with wanting that praise.
I avoid arguments of analysis. I am not that good at writing on the fly, especially when it comes to arguments and reasoning my case and theories. And when it comes down to arguing with someone like MDWigs, I try and avoid it, as I have neither the time nor the energy to argue over something, especially when I am at an extreme disadvantage in terms of arguing a case. I wish that were not the case. Besides, an argument does not interest me. I prefer to field questions from the community according to my understanding, and offer people resources, particularly the ones I have in the Written Statements section. That is where most my energy goes. I like collecting those resources for the rest of the community.
Which brings me to what I am trying to do. I am trying to create the site I had searched long and hard for a number of years ago. And as I have said numerous times, the Eva community is decentralizing as many sites and resources become unavailable. Someone has to fill the space and offer the community with an archive of information. That is what I am trying to create, a place where someone can find anything they could want. Essays, articles, commentary, guides, and more. Not simply a fan site, a community site, or a site to adress theories, Eva Monkey is the place I’ve custom tailored to be of interest to every Eva fan, from casual to hardcore. I want to promote Eva as much as I can, and service the community. I like being able to attend cons for free and get free stuff on occasion, but I don’t do what I do for the perks, or the fame. If you want to consider it selfish or conceited to want to have the best Eva site on the net because you desperately want to meat Hideaki Anno, whom you deeply admire and credit to some degree for still being alive, then yeah, consider me a supreme attention whore. I really don’t care. But I am in fact tired of explaining my intentions, which is why I will say it here. If you don’t like the fact that I spend my time, money, and energy, trying to create a place for people to learn more about something they love, then don’t read the site. If I offend you, I’m sorry, it was never my intention to upset or insult. Sometimes I fly of the handle, as do we all, don’t take it personal, especially when its an entry in a journal which is meant to be a cathartic expression which I entrust to my closest peers, and not the people who traffic this site.
Eva News
Lately I’ve been a bit busy with some personal affairs, so I’ve had little time or effort to forum hop, and search around for stuff of interest or note. The only thing I really have to adress at the moment is the rumor concerning Renewal of Evangelion.
A recent post to AnimeOnDVD saw a release date for the first volume of Renewal, which you can see here. There’s a comment on the mainpage of the site concerning Diamond’s post, and needless to say they have no clue what it means. The only thing I know for certain is that it is highly unlikely ADV, or any other Distro would keep quiet about securing something like Renewal, and if it were coming, we would have heard prior to a street date being let out. It is my belief that perhaps this is merely just a stocking of Japanese region 2 copies, and not any form of subbed/localized copy.
On a wholly different note, the next episode of Neo Pokemon Evangelion is out, so if you speak German check it out. And please, someone send me an explanation as to what in the hell its about, I know no german whatsoever.