How I Met Travis Farren
By The Eva Monkey on Sunday, June 29th, 2008
At Katsucon 2004, some friends and I hosted a panel on the subject of psychology and sociology in anime. It was a topic we were short on expertise and credential, but still managed to provide a sufficiently engaging open forum for people to discuss anime on a higher level than usual. To this day, I still view the panel as a flop, but there was one very special aspect of it that I’m still glad for. At the end, just before we cleared the room for the next panel, we reiterated who we were, and when I stated that I was from EvaMonkey.com, a voice from the front of the room squealed in excitement something like “Are you serious…? OMG, it’s teh Eva Monkey!”.
This is how I met Travis Farren.
I’ve met quite a few people through conventions and the Evangelion fandom. Some more interesting than others, but none quite like Travis. It’s an obvious statement to say that someone is unique. Everyone is. But in Travis’ case, he was about as unique as you could be. He was a person who I palled around with at conventions, talked with over messenger, email, and occasionally over the phone. Despite the fact that I was only in his physical presence as many times as I can count on one or maybe two hands, I enjoyed every chance I had to interact with him.
Needless to say, I was excited when I saw his name pop up on my phone Wednesday morning while I was settling in at work. Travis was like that, he would call at the most unexpected times, and ultimately, it wouldn’t matter what the message would be, just that it was coming from him. But when I answered, it wasn’t his voice on the other end, it was his mother’s. She told me that Travis had passed away, and that she thought I should know.
I was in disbelief for a brief moment before my stomach dropped. She told me that he and a friend had been jumping from a footbridge into the James river, and that Travis had had a seizure while swimming back to shore. You see, Travis had developed epilepsy in his junior year of high school, and the adrenaline rush from the jump and the change in temperature had triggered the seizure.
I expressed my condolences to his mother, and then we hung up. I eventually found myself in the main conference room to be alone, as I had started to cry a little bit. My boss came in to wire some cable, and he asked me if I was okay. I explained to him, and he told me that I could cut out if I needed to. I did what I could on one particular project, and made arrangements to leave.
I went home, packed some things, and made the five hour drive down to Roanoke in time for the second viewing. It was a very strange and uncomfortable experience, as I didn’t know the family and felt very out of place. It took a little while, but I managed to find his mother to express my condolences and thank her for telling me. It was at that point that it all came out and I wept uncontrollably.
I didn’t understand at the time why it affected me so much. It was not until the funeral the next day that I realized how truly special Travis was to everyone, including me. He really was the light of everyone’s life, and what a shame it was for that light to be extinguished at such an early age. He was only twenty years old.
While I was raised catholic, and it shows, I’m not a religious person. So when someone dies, to me that’s pretty much the end of it. All that is left is memory, and the things left behind. I’m not comforted by a belief in an afterlife where we can be together with people again who have passed before us. But a part of me struggles with a belief in things happening for a reason. And this is one of the truest cases of this.
Early in the month, Travis messaged me saying that he had a Red Cross Book laying around that he no longer wanted, and that he was going to sell it to get some cash to buy Metal Gear Solid 4. He asked me how much it was worth, and if I knew anyone he could sell it to that would appreciate it. You see, he didn’t simply want to eBay it, he wanted that book to mean something to someone. I replied that I would like to have it, as I had not gotten my hands on one yet. We both gasped at the blasphemy that The Eva Monkey, master of all things Eva, had no Red Cross Book amongst his expansive collection. We agreed upon a price, I paypalled him the money, and he shipped the book off to me. I got it about a week later, and he tossed in an extra little photo-holder-type-thingy, and a note which was true to his character. Two weeks later, he passed away.
He wanted that book to mean something. And he didn’t mean it that way in the time, but part of me feels like he gave me that book for a reason. For that was the last exchange I ever had with him, and now it means so much more than just an uncommon book. It’s my last memory of Travis. And I’ll always cherish it.
Goodbye Travis, I’ll miss you.